How Do You Know if You Have Asperger's Syndrome?

A humorous await at Aspergers. Englebert updated this weblog postal service in 2021 here.

past Englebert Lau

What are the top x signs you lot have Asperger's Syndrome?

one) Y'all take inflexible routines

Girl: "Allow's go watch a motion picture tonight."
Guy: "I can't, I have to play hockey."
Girl: "You play hockey every Friday night. Why tin't you change your routine?"
Guy: "Expert habits are of import. Do you lot know what happens if I skip hockey to watch a picture show this night? Next calendar week, I'll skip hockey because y'all want to go shopping. The week after that, I'll have to skip hockey considering you desire to paint pottery. After years of no exercise, I'll dice early on and overweight. Is that what you want?"
Girl: "Oh my god, yous're crazy."

ii) You have trouble displaying emotion

[Emotion #1: happy] Girl: "Oh my god, you lot simply won the lotto. Why don't you look happy?"
Guy: "I am happy. I can pay off my mortgage faster. Expect, I'one thousand smiling. Doesn't that hateful I'yard happy?"

[Emotion #two: sad] Girl: "I'm sad to hear that Calgary lost to Toronto. Are you okay?"
Guy: "I'g sad. Wait, I'one thousand not grin. Doesn't that bear witness I'yard pitiful?"

[Emotion #3: angry] Girl: "I'yard so lamentable that I broke your Batman DVD."
Guy: "I'm angry. Do I need to snap one of your shoes in one-half to evidence that I'chiliad upset?"

3) You have problem figuring what is advisable in social situations

Guy: [Gives flimsy hug] Girl: "Why is your hug so weak? Are you afraid of women?"
Guy: [Gives firm hug] Daughter: "Why are you squeezing me so tightly? Stop choking me, you weirdo!"

4) You lot lack empathy

Girl: [Crying] Guy: "What's wrong?"
Daughter: "My boyfriend just dumped me."
Guy: "Would you like a Kleenex?"
Daughter: "What's wrong with you? Haven't you e'er loved someone for years, then watched them walk away and then rip out your heart? Why tin can't you show whatever emotion?"
Guy: "Just I'yard having a good solar day. The Calgary Flames won the hockey game. Why do I have to pretend that I'thousand deplorable just to make you experience better?"

5) You know way too much information nearly a single topic

Daughter: "What's the proper noun of the girl who plays Daenerys on Game of Thrones?"
Guy: "Emilia Clarke."
Girl: "How old is she?"
Guy: "She's 28, built-in on May 1st, 1987."
Daughter: "Who is she going out with?"
Guy: "She broke up with Seth MacFarlane in March 2013."
Daughter: "Why do you know this stuff?

6) You have trouble figuring out when to lie

Girl: "Does this dress make me expect fat?"
Guy: "Yep."
Daughter: "What the hell is wrong with you?" [Throws shoe at guy] Guy: "Do you desire me to prevarication, or tell the truth? Information technology's one or the other. Y'all can't accept both!"

vii) You have trouble describing basic emotions

Girl: "And then how would y'all describe yourself when you're angry?"
Guy: "I alter the pitch of my vocalisation. People who yell are usually upset."
Girl: "But at a hockey game, if the Flames score a goal, people yell because they're happy."
Guy: "Emotions are unreliable. Why exercise y'all always ask how I feel? Why tin't you focus on reliable information, like facts?"
Girl: "You're weird. You're an emotionless robot."

8) You care mode too much well-nigh organizing stuff

Girl: [Puts DVD dorsum on shelf] Guy: "What the hell are you doing?"
Daughter: "I'1000 putting your Batman Blu-Ray back on your shelf. What's your problem?"
Guy: "Did you become to kindergarten? Alphabetical order is "A", and then "B", then "C". You virtually put Batman on my shelf after Community. Good lord. How tin can I discover a DVD when you're messing up my stuff?"
Girl: "Dude, relax. It's just a Blu-Ray. It'south no big deal."
Guy: "Certain. Just similar the alphabet and kindergarten are no big bargain. Without kindergarten, we wouldn't be able to have this conversation!"

nine) You have problem understanding other people's emotions

Girl: "Wasn't Romeo and Juliet the best story every written? Didn't the story make yous experience actually sad?"
Guy: "I didn't feel annihilation. All I learned from Romeo and Juliet is that it's important to develop technology."
Girl: "What's wrong with you? Romeo and Juliet both gave up their lives because they were in honey. They made the ultimate sacrifice for each other!"
Guy: "Can you imagine if they lived in 2015? All they had to do was ship each other one lousy text message. Bam! Problem solved. No one had to die."
Girl: "Oh my god. You're an emotionless robot who doesn't empathize romance."
Guy: "Hey, it's not my fault that they didn't invent jail cell phones in the Middle Ages."

10) You lot need other people to provide clear schedules and expectations

Girl: "We should hang out some time."
Guy: "What does that mean? What day do you want to hang out? How long do you want to hang out? What do y'all want to do? Can y'all exist more specific? What does hanging out mean? Does that mean doing something that you desire to do? Do I have to hang out with new people, which will cause me to clarify what is acceptable social behaviour, which changes from one person to the next person? Why can't you define anything clearly?"
Girl: [Sighs]

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Englebert

Englebert Lau was diagnosed with a balmy case of Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 30. The bulk of Englebert's professional career has been working in Information technology as a Business concern Annotator. Englebert created http://www.hitchhikeraspie.com. The purpose of this website is to share a light-hearted perspective on Asperger'southward Syndrome. Englebert would like to increase exposure well-nigh Asperger'due south Syndrome for a wide range of people, by providing examples of how it affects his everyday life. Englebert loves Boob tube series and movies, especially the HBO Game of Thrones series.

Artwork: Debbie Denenburg – Giant Royal Planet

Note:

The Art of Autism realizes many people come to this page with the questions, Do I have Autism? or, Practice I have Aspergers? We recommend diagnosis past a professional. However, at that place are a couple of popular online quizzes that may give you an indication if you might be on the spectrum: